When Gratitude Goes Missing

You ever notice how some people make you not even want to share anymore? Not because you’re stingy, but because every time you offer something, it’s met with criticism instead of gratitude.

A family friend stopped by recently. I had cooked dinner for the kids — something simple, easy. She asked for a plate, so I fixed her one. The first thing she said was, “Oh, I don’t really like this kind.” No thank you. Just a review.

A few minutes later, she helped herself to more. Then as I snacked on something else, she asked if she could try it. I passed it to her, and again came the complaints — not enough of this, not the way she wanted that. And before I could even breathe, she was eyeing the next thing on the counter.

It wasn’t about food anymore. It was about a spirit — one that hovers around, waiting for whatever’s next, never satisfied, never grateful.

The Hidden Cost of Entitlement

That kind of attitude carries a weight. It makes generosity feel like a chore. You start to pull back, not because you’ve hardened your heart, but because peace is expensive — and you can’t afford to spend it on someone who refuses to appreciate it.

Some people don’t realize how their constant taking wears on others. It’s not the asking that drains you, it’s the lack of awareness that you’re being drained.

Setting the Table with Boundaries

Proverbs 23:6 says,

“Do not eat the food of a begrudging host, do not crave his delicacies.”

But it works both ways. You don’t have to serve someone who eats with a spirit of complaint. You can love them, but you don’t have to feed what dishonors your giving.

Peace Over Performance

It’s okay to enjoy something without sharing it every time. It’s okay to draw the line when your kindness is met with entitlement. True generosity flows from joy — not obligation.

These days, I guard that joy. Because gratitude doesn’t just bless the giver — it keeps the whole exchange sacred. And where there’s no gratitude, there’s no room for grace.

A Prayer for When Gratitude Goes Missing

FATHER,

Thank You for the heart You’ve given me — one that loves to give and serve others.
But Lord, help me not to confuse kindness with obligation.
Teach me how to give with discernment, and how to say no with peace.

For the people in my life who take without awareness, I lift them up to You.
Soften their hearts. Remind them that every gift deserves gratitude.
Help them see that true connection is built on mutual respect, not expectation.

And for me — help me release the frustration, the guilt, and the weariness that comes from being drained.
Restore my joy in giving.
Surround me with people who honor what I offer, and remind me that boundaries are a form of love too.

In JESUS’ name, Amen.